the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
