Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
