I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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