he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
