"it" just moved
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
