it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I will be naked everywhere
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
