If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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