He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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