I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
