we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
