I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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