haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
