the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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