Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
