I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
