so explain again why im purple
no
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
