Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
