They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
