he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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