Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
