dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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