I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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