I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
