we have officially lost it.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
