hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
