don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
