Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
