Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
