My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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