i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
