She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
