Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
