im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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