is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
