Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
