i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
