Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
