My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
True college students do jello shots in the library
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
