Just cropdusted the office
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
