I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
