You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You need Xanax blowdarts
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
