No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
