I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
