There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
