I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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