I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Randomize
