69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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