what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Randomize
