I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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