Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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